How to Deal with Exes in Relationships

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Dealing with exes can be hard at first, but learning how to cope is big part of moving on.

Lots of ex-couples do manage to be friends again.

Why do I feel so bad when I see my ex?

When we split up with someone, our old feelings for the person can linger on even though the situation has changed radically.

This can be confusing and very frustrating but, over time, these negative feelings get weaker and pass.

Avoiding your ex as much as possible for a while can help. Keeping occupied and trying new things can also help distract a broken heart.

What if I can't avoid them - how can I cope?

In social situations, ask a trusted mate to stick with you so that you don't have to cope alone around your ex.

You can also try ignoring them - plug in to your MP3 player, bury yourself in a book or magazine or blether on the phone.

If you sit near them in class, try asking your teacher if you can swap with someone else.

You shouldn't have to give up on your mutual friends, but you might want to avoid situations where there's only you, your ex and a couple of other people. It's often easier to cope if there's a big group of other folks there too.

What if one of us has a new partner?

Seeing your old partner with someone new can be hard to handle. You will have to accept they've moved on, but it's wise to avoid situations where you could have to watch them getting all loved up.

If it's you that has someone new, spare a thought for your old partner's feelings and do your romancing somewhere they don't have to see it.

Intentionally trying to make your old partner jealous by making out with someone else in front of them is a definite no-no.

Anyone who twigs what's going on will probably think you're a real low-life. Meanwhile, your new partner could feel used and wonder why you're still obsessing about your ex when you should be thinking about them.

Will we ever be friends again?

It is possible - lots of exes do manage to be friends again. The main thing is not to rush it.

Both of you will need space to adjust and to get over the end of your romance. This will probably mean seeing less of each other for a while.

It can be helpful to think of it as a new friendship. As with any friendship, it takes time to get to know each other and to build up trust.

Trying to be friends again is a bad idea if there was some kind of abuse.

What about getting back together as a couple?

Some couples do get back together, but usually it only works if things are different to how they were when they split up.

If you're getting on well and both feel attracted to each other again, there could be a chance. The only way to know for sure is to sit down together and talk about it.

But are you being realistic?

If they've found someone else it's really not worth putting your life on hold just in case they come running back to you.